Changing Seasons, Growing Dreams

Fall is definitely here now, and I'm so excited about it. I missed the colors and crispness in the air during the years I spent in California. And I love the changes that it brings to farming too . . . the days get shorter, the work (very gradually) a little easier. I've learned a lot the past four months -- not just about farming, but about myself.

I feel like I am really becoming who I've wanted to be. I've found my heart and my passions and the balance that I had always wondered about the existence of. Life at home is great, to be sure, but inside I have peace. It brings a sense of self to truly know what your loves are and to be actually doing something about them.

My loves: farming and writing. Interests: making money through business and real estate. What I want to do with my life: Invest, raise our kids on a small farm, and write.

As far as to what we are doing about them, we are working with my parents and some realtors right now about getting started in some rental properties in this area. For the time being we will be partnering with my parents until we all get pretty well set up; it's their retirement and our future, so it works well for everyone involved.

For farming, I have realized that I don't want a full-time operation dedicated to supporting us financially (that's what the investing will be for). What I want is a place for us to do what we want with the land, produce our own food, and teach our kids about the importance of work. A small customer base to offset some of the costs is fine, but I want to be able to provide some of our family members and close friends with good, homegrown food. Right now I can only imagine how satisfying that will be, but I'm looking forward to it in the not so distant future.

And writing, well, I've actually been starting on some freelancing. Slow going of course, especially until I get myself used to it again, but I consider it another way to explore myself and hopefully still contribute to our income when the baby gets here. Kenny has been so encouraging and I love him more all the time, because he knows who I am before I do and helps me to realize it. I'm also going to be taking a writing class either this month or next, so that will help me out too.

The baby, yes, the baby. I'm starting to get really excited about February. I'll admit my trepidition and fear for the first few months, but just having her (?) part of me and feeling her develop has . . . changed me inside. I don't know how you can love someone you haven't met yet, but it's amazing. I feel older, like I'm learning about some secret to life that really isn't a secret at all but requires the experience . . . I don't know if that makes sense at all but I feel more complete.

Honestly, we are just really blessed right now.

Just My Ramblings

IThinking about what it is about farming that I love, in an attempt to bring some order to my thought process. On a quick run through, this is what I came up with:

How do words capture a love of the land you seem to have been born with? It's the way a sunset thrills you, and a sunrise over misty fields touches part of your soul. when you can feel nature pulsing to the beat of your own heart, you know you will never be satisfied unless you immerse ourself in it. You may curse the rain for killing a crop, but inside you revel in it because when the wind is ravaging and the sky is being torn open . . . you feel alive. Some wild and primitive side of you responds and you know that it's the give and the take that yyou love about farming. It's life. It's the joy of helping things grow, it's the gamble against the forces of nature that keeps it interesting. It's hard work that satisfies you. It's helping to get the harvest in before the stomr hits, a camaraderie found in few walks of life. It's beautiful because farms don't, and shouldn't, compete; the must work together to survive.

So yes, I love farming. When our children are growing up I want them to look around their home and realize that Mom and Dad started with a dream and nothing else . . . and that dream became a reality that takes care of the family, as long as we take care of it. What a lesson to teach them!